Bad Rats

---

 

Masterpiece is a word I seldom use to describe anything, but this is truly a game worthy of such praise. Few times have I ever seen such clear effort put into a game before. This game really went above and beyond the norm, this game pushed my mind and my computer to their limits. Exciting and interesting puzzles, a unique story line and a cool spartan style are just some of the things that….sorry what was that? Oh, I’m not reviewing portal 2? OH I’m reviewing bad rats…ohhhh

This game is shit. Hell, in the title it actually tells you before anything else if this game is good or not. If you look closely you will notice it puts Bad in it’s title. Almost like a subtle warning, a cry for help. That’s really what this game is, some sort of sick cry for help. Usually a game will fall into two basic categories, either it was a neat concept and executed poorly, or it was a stupid concept, but executed decently. This game was not a good idea, is still not a good idea, and never will be a good idea. It’s not even really an idea, it’s like a seven year old who murdered his pet cat, got sent to a mental institution and was given a computer to develop a game for some sort of new therapy. Honestly this game is sick. From the very beginning you are smashed in the face with nasty imagery of cats and rats being killed in strange and violent ways. I mean, suicide rats? Really? What were they thinking!???

Even if you hate cats I really don’t understand why you would find this game amusing. It’s weird because the games notion is so childish, but its rated 18+ for cartoon violence. So, either they wanted parents to buy this game for their children who they are training to be future serial killers, or they thought that 18 year old’s would be all over this? WHAT!?? Neither of those make any sense at all.

So maybe I should come to the conclusion that this was developed as some sort of joke right? Like some kind of elaborate prank that ended up going way too far? But the game doesn’t play like a joke, and it’s themes range drastically from amusing rats that can’t do anything right, to cats exploding. Like strait up exploding, blood and guts flying every where sick shit. Now I myself am not against violence in video games, but usually from an artistic standpoint violence is supposed to accompany a point. Like, oh no they killed that guys wife, this villain must be really evil. Or, I’m so glad that guy died in such a horrible way, he really deserved it for pirating those movies. But in this game, you’re the evil one just randomly killing cats. And the cats are disturbingly innocent and peaceful. The cats actually beg for their lives! They are chained up, defenseless and beg for their lives. And it’s never shown in any way that they ever did anything to the rats. So basically the game wants you to complete a puzzle, and then rewards you by killing an innocent virtual animal.

I’m sorry I’m ranting but this game will mess you up. I have only played 20 minutes of this game to be honest, and some of that is first time setup and loading. It’s just that when I complete a level I feel really bad about it. I slip into a state of depression for killing that poor cat. And I can usually play almost any game for at least an hour, but damn this game is messed up.

The only amusement I got from this game was going on to steam reviews and giving it a 10/10 and praising it for it’s wonderful vision. It hurt me saying that but, it did amuse me for about a minute. Maybe if you ever feel like really happy, and you want the happiness to go away you could play this game? Or maybe if you hate rats, but you hate cats even more, and you especially hate cartoon cats this might be a good game for you????? Really though this game is probably gonna give you PTSD if you actually play it through all the way….

---

 

 

(Best Gif of all time BTW^)

Anyway this is TreeBaron signing out,

Don’t buy bad rats! (NOT EVEN AS A JOKE!)

 

Here’s a video of cats doing cute things.

 

 

Artemis Spaceship Bridge Simulator

---

Just the title alone may give you a bit of a scent of what this game is like. It takes itself a little too seriously and at times lacks proper focus.  So let’s start from the beginning, I was browsing the internet one day when I came across a game that promised to deliver the star trek bridge crew experience, without having to own a starship. I immediately was excited by the idea, but a bit cautious with my hopes knowing that my friends make better traitors than navigators when it comes to video games.  And of course when I suggested that we all chip in a bit of the cost, and purchase it no one was really that into it.  However a few months passed and the game appeared on steam, and at a significantly discounted price. This time it was one of my friends who noticed it and suggested we all buy it. So I spent my $6 and so did everyone else, and one night we all got together to figure this thing out.

Us Figuring things Out ^ Actual Footage

Me being the gracious host that I am decided to host a game and have everyone else connect. After a little fiddling with port forwarding and a little trickery with steam to get two games to launch at once on my computer, we finally boarded our starship. Well, at least we selected it from a short list.  We agreed on roles and set course for adventure!

It was then that we realized this was not the slickest game in the world. The idea is neat to have everyone in their own little role, and spreading out responsibility so that everyone has enough control to send the ship to hell. However it was quickly apparent that the balance of power was not equal, at all. In fact it soon became laughable as the navigator and weapons consoles basically did everything. Oh sure maybe the science officer could give specific map coordinates, and help us navigate obsticles, and yes even the communications officer could taunt the enemy, or request supplies from stations. But in the grand scheme of things you could just have those as backup roles, that you take on, on top of an important role like helm or weapons officer.

Also I might mention the captain, really doesn’t do anything at all. I mean I guess you can pretend to give orders and insist that everyone follows them, but you don’t even get a self destruct button!? And you can’t override their stations!? And you can’t have your crewmen beaten!? After  a few minutes as captain I was really itching to switch roles, so I had everyone switch around a bit.  By the end of the night we had each played every station, and so we decided to have some actual fun and split off into two teams and go head to head with each other in two separate controlled player ships.  This was a lot more interesting and amusing, but it soon became a game of drop the nuke and run. Still it was fun for a while but overall the game just wasn’t interesting enough to keep playing. Maybe with a story line, clearer objectives, and more balanced positions this game could have really shined. But I think the devs had their own unique vision with this game, and never really went past it. I tried to get my friends to play again with mods…but that never happened.

Basically this game was fun once, but is little more than a novelty. If you have LAN parties frequently,  where you all bring your computers into a room,  and put a star trek episode on in the background, then maybe this is your thing. Still though it’s just not fun by itself. A lot of times while I was playing I felt like the game was just missing something. It needed a little more pizaz or a twist or a story or something.

This is TreeBaron Signing out,

Qapla’!